ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? 

 WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 

 WITNESS: Yes. 

 ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? 

 WITNESS: getting laid 

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

 WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. 

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? 

 WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

 ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

 WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

 And the best for last: 

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? 

 WITNESS: No. 

 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

 WITNESS: No. 

 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

 WITNESS: No. 

 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

 WITNESS: No. 

 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. 

 ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.