FUTURE PROGRAMS:

Click here to see the complete 2006-07 program list

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• Guest today: Daniel and Jon Cunningham

• Jon Cunningham won the drawing 

• Happy/Sad Bucks: None

• Lisa had surgery last Friday.  She is doing well, and she hopes to be released later this week.  We all wish her a speedy recovery

• The GSE team from Italy will be at East Palestine High School on April 30th

• May 12th will be DOG Day

• We will honor Jon & Ellen Rettig as the non-Rotarians of the year at the March 19th meeting

• The Cancer Relay for Life in 2007 will be on June 15-16 in Salem.

• The Easter Egg Hunt will be March 31st.  We will take photos with the Easter Bunny & service coffee, doughnuts, etc.

• The District Conference will me held at the Holiday Inn Metroplex in Girard on April 27-29.

• The Rotary International convention will begin on June 17 in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Our speaker today was Jon Cunningham.  He is a junior at EPHS, and he attended RYLA last weekend in Salem.  Click here to see all the photos from RYLA 2007.

Joke

Viagra Spinoffs

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented toward improving the performance of men in today's society.

Here's a list of what's on the drawing board:

DIRECTRA: A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop to ask directions when they got lost, compared to 0.2 percent of a control group.

PROJECTRA: Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA: Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA: In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men who were given this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. It is currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA: Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweethearts expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: Whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return period.

NEGA-VIAGRA: Has the opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on former U.S. Presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA: This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA: This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA: This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA: About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA: This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury, and Presidential Strength versions.