June 5, 2006

FUTURE PROGRAMS:

June 12th	Brett Todd
June 19th	Bob White
June 26th	Club Assembly
July 3rd	NO MEETING

Guests: Traci Thompson; Carly (speaker), Chris (Mom), Judy (Grandmother who is a Rotarian in Bethel Park , Pennsylvania ), Abby & Jake (Carly's brother and sister)

We will participate in the Cancer Walk For Life in Salem on Friday, June 16th at 6:00PM to Saturday, June 17th at 6:00 PM. You need to sign up ASAP. Sondra is looking for Looney Tunes decorations.

Happy/Sad Bucks: Dave happy - son went off to Marine Officer's Camp; Judy - guest - from District 7300 - happy to be here; Connie - happy to be retiring ; Roger - Matt went back to Annapolis driving now ; Brad - Chernobyl program still active, and Vika is coming ; Bob White - happy/sad - July 15th is his last day at the Dairy Queen

Connie won the drawing

The fireworks will be held on Saturday, July 1st. Do we want to try to sell necklaces again. PLEASE CONTACT SANDY IF YOU CAN HELP. Bonnie can get the necklaces for less than 50 cents each if we have enough people to work the event.

Bob & Sondra are still working on the end of the year picnic.....perhaps at Mountaineer Park (if they want us?)

PROGRAM

Carly Zaliski gave a presentation on Kids Building Hope. She is in the 7th Grade and Kids Building Hope is going to build an elementary school in Vietnam . The Canton Rotary Club is sponsoring her. Her grandmother's Rotary Club in Bethel Park , Pennsylvania , built one of the schools. They need to raise $50,000.00 by spring 2008 and then the Vietnamese Children's Fund (home based in Washington , DC ) will match it. They pick the site where to build the school. Terry Anderson was on the front of time magazine will attend a dinner that will be held as a fundraising event (time and date unknown but they have a commitment from him). She gave a PowerPoint presentation on the program and then asked if our Club would donate. $250.00 is bronze, $500.00 is silver and $1,000.00 and up is gold. There will be a nice plaque put on the school with the names who donate.

Joke of the Week
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jackass.
"Without question, the greatest invention in the ! history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."